When Worlds Collide: Junior Seau On Howard Stern

There is no hiding the fact that the media ascention on Arizona will hit the ground running. Going into this week's big game, radio host Howard Stern managed to haul in Junior Seau, the veteran linebacker from the New England Patriots. As if being on the phone with a room full of New York Giants fans is not hard enough, it did not take long for Howard to start asking all of the important questions...

A few items of mention, paraphrased to the best of my ability, with my responses following:

- Regarding "the boot," anything that Tom Brady does is a big deal. This boot, however, is not (Can't a boy dream?)

- Samoans (Seau's heritage) no longer eat people (But no mention of steroids)

- Regarding possible retirement, Junior is taking things "one day at a time" (We would be crazy to not assume that this week's game will have an impact on this decision. I mean c'mon...18 years?)

- Seau reiterated that he did not "retire" from San Diego, but he did "graduate" (Good to see that this charade is still in full effect)

- Seau is single, admittedly has a lot of "friends," but will cut them off on Thursday as he will turn his focus to Sunday's game (At least he has his priorities in line)

- When asked if Tom Brady has a small penis, Seau rejects the notion of ever checking out his teammates' genitals (Get this guy on the Moment of Truth!)

- His real name is Tiaina, which is justification enough to go by the name "Junior" (Good move, Junior)

- Seau does not "do" celebrities, but rather hunts out the "low key women" (Reggie Bush should take note)

- And most importantly, he has never had relations with a cheerleader (Something tells me he is speaking specifically in regards to New England. San Diego? Forget about it)

Seau has two other phone interviews to do today, likely starting off the media blitz that will be Arizona this week. However, something tells me that this will be the only interview where he fields the questions about Tom Brady's penis.

LaDainian Tomlinson "Action" Figure

I'm pretty sure this one speaks for itself.


Although, it if was so real...where's the dark visor? Slackers.

(h/t to KSK)

"Wait, Who's #91?"

One of these people is not like the others

As I unassumingly watched the close to the 2007 season, I witnessed the team of my rooting interests become mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, despite a stellar and unexpected season. It was a season that can be described by several key events, whether it be Michael Vick's trial, Patriots perfection, Sean Taylor's unfortunate death, Bobby Petrino bolting for the NCAA and even a little Pacman Jones sprinkled on top for good measure.

Thinking of Sean Taylor, I noticed that my Cleveland Browns were still sporting the "21" stickers on their helmets, causing me to turn my attention to other teams to see if they were still depicting their remembrance. Of course, the Washington Redskins were displaying the number of their fallen teammate, but were others?

I noticed one team that was not with the rest of the NFL in canonizing the former defensive back. Perhaps they stuck out to me due to the media inundation that were to be broadcast over my television, but possibly because of their choice to not take part in said tribute: The New England Patriots.

When I first noticed this a few weeks back, my Pavlovian response was to jump on to this wonderful medium and bad mouth the team and all that they stood for. How could they not show their respects for a player who had just been brutally slain a few weeks back? Must they be that cavalier towards the rest of the league? Who do they think they are? I mean with their hoodies and model girlfriends. How condescending are they? Right? Right?

Not so fast.

Watching yesterday's games with my fiancée, her question encapsulated what the casual fan may have been thinking this entire time. After watching Tom Brady walk off of the field following a three-and-out, she saw the back of his helmet and said, "Wait, Who's number 91?" After I explained the entire story about Marquise Hill, it had hit me. Was his death simply glossed over by so many? The Joe Bucks of the world can mention it once per week, but is that ample coverage? I know that it did not occur during mid-season, and it was not a homicide, but shouldn't this be known?

Why didn't the rest of the league don "91" stickers on their helmets? Was it because Hill wasn't an All-Pro? Maybe because he didn't have flashy nickname on or off of the field? After all, he only had three tackles in all of last season, how good could he have been? How would anyone know who he was? Should this even matter?

The Patriots defensive end that suddenly died this past 28th day of May spent many of his last days helping New Orleans residents rebuild their homes after Hurricane Katrina. While residents of Louisiana, his teammates at LSU, and his teammates on the New England Patriots remember Hill, many casual fans are left pondering the story of the former second-rounder. Jarvis Green, his teammate at both the college and professional levels, wore Hill's shoulder pads for the season - a friend's way to memorialize.

This is not an attempt to knock down the celebration of any fallen athletes that have received praise for their hard work and for what they meant to their teammates or fans. It is simply an open-ended question, in attempt to figure out why certain players receive different levels of remembrance. Who are we to judge? Maybe the Patirots have a point after all.

Paging Drew Bennett

[dial tone...]

[dialing Berkeley, CA phone number]

[phone rings]

Hello? Is Drew there?

Yes Mrs. Bennett, this is Billy Volek. I'm a quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, but I used to play with Drew back when we were in Tennessee.

Yes, Mrs. Bennett. I'm still in the league.

Well, yes, I was supposed to be the starting quarterback in Tennessee after Steve left, but then they drafted this kid out of Texas and then everything went down hill from there.

Yes, he's faster than I am. But his arm is questionable.

Oh, you've seen him play?

Well anyways, I was just wondering if Drew would be interested in playing with me this week. See, we're really screwed going into New England, and it is a playoff game. Our running back LaDainian is listed questionable with a hyperextended knee, and I think there's a good chance that I'm even going to play.

No, no, Mrs. Bennett, I'm not the number one quarterback for San Diego. The kid who was playing ahead of me has two sprained knees. Yes, I know he told the Indianapolis fans that he would be back from his injury, but he knows not what he says sometimes.

Okay, most of the time.

Well, you see, while we were able to win last week's game, I think that we may be in a bit of a bind this week. We're facing this guy you may have heard of. His name is Tom Brady and he's pretty good, so we...

Oh, you know Tom? Your what is named "Tom?" Oh, well, that's nice.

So, as I was saying. I think it would be nice to have Drew on my team again. You know, to rekindle the flame per se. Back in '04, we had one hell of a season. Drew caught 80 passes for 1200 yards and 11 touchdowns that year!

Yes, I know ma'am. He has only caught 10 touchdowns since then. But that's because I'm not his quarterback anymore. I'm the yin to Drew's yang, Mrs. Bennett.

What do you mean "that's weird?"

No, its just something that us football players say.

Oh, Drew's never said anything like that?

Well, OK. If you could just pass along the message that I called, it would be great. We could really use him this week. I really miss him, and think it would be nice if... [click]

Hello? Hello? [dial tone]

Rivers, Gates Questionable [SD Union-Tribune]
Philip Rivers Likes to Run His Mouth [NFL FanHouse]

Welcome Back!

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday.

A few things I learned this weekend:

1) American Gangster is a pretty sweet movie - even in bootlegged DVD form.
2) Your quarterback can be pretty good all year, but it is always the one game that matters most
3) My sister is pretty freaking creative. More on that later in the week.
4) My fiancee is very generous - even in tough times
5) White Christmas' are nice and all, but man is it great driving to and from holiday get-togethers on dry roads
6) LeBron's kids likely had a decent Christmas

With that said, here's a quick recap of what some others are saying around the net to catch you up to speed...

- CBS, NBC and the Fans: 1. NFL Network: 0 (Signal to Noise)

- A slew of bloggers more important than myself chipped in for a Year-in-Review of sorts. (Yahoo! Sports)

- Philip Rivers apparently forgot that he's not a good quarterback. (NFL FanHouse)

- Maybe the Mario Williams pick wasn't so bad after all. (Jim Rome)

- Another long year for Jerious Norwood on the docket? (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

- Could Derek Anderson be heading to Miami? (PFT via FanIQ)

and finally...

- Thanks for all of those fantasy points down the stretch, Reggie. (The Big Lead)

More to come later.

Hi, My Name Is: Jesse Chatman

The Miami Dolphins are winless on the season. And now with recent news out of the Miami Herald, it looks like while they lost yet another game on Sunday, they will also lose their prized running back for the rest of the season.

Enter Jesse Chatman.

Like many others in the "Hi, My Name Is" series, Chatman was an undrafted free agent, signed in 2002. His college experience stems from Eastern Washington University, where he was an AP I-AA All-American selection. University of Michigan fans should know something about I-AA, but I digress.

While in school, Chatman recorded the fourth-highest single season rushing total in I-AA history with 2,096. He finished his collegiate career with 53 trips to the end zone and over 4,000 yards.

Since entering the NFL in 2002, Chatman spent several years with the Chargers before giving way to some guy named LaDanian Tomlinson. He had a tour of duty with the Dolphins, but was traded to New Orleans in 2005.

He spent 2006 out of the NFL, but rejoined the Dolphins in 2007 where he will now be thrusted into the starting running back slot for Cam Cameron.

What many not know is that Chatman was right on the tails of Brown in the preseason, sparking rumors of the former first round pick taking a back seat. Well, now Brown will take a seat on the trainers table, and Chatman will be getting the bulk of the carries while Miami still searches for their first win of the season. Good luck, Jesse.

Fans of Miami, congratulations on that number one overall pick in 2008! Will it be Jake Long? Brian Brohm? Heck, Andre Woodson?

Dolphins' Ronnie Brown Done For Season [Miami Herald]

Morning YouTubenss: Leave Nothing...

...But tear your groin in the meantime.

With news that Steven Jackson will miss this week's game, and possibly more, I figured that all of his fantasy owners can simply watch this commercial on loop.

We're about to become pretty familiar with the name Brian Leonard over the next few weeks - but I doubt he'll ever get a Nike commercial of his own.

Notice that Jackson doesn't exactly cross the goal line at the end. Notice that he's yet to cross the goal line this season. Ugh. Enjoy...I guess.

Gearing Up...

For the weekend, that is.

A few pieces of note worth mentioning before we all head out for a few days.

If only every team had an HBO Special. The Browns one would definitely feature Ted Washington - and would take a lot more time. And a wide screen. [Arrowhead Addict]

Wait, the Patriots will be under the microscope this week? Get out. [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Wade Wilson will still be at home this weekend. At ease, sir. [FanIQ]

Eli may actually play this week. Feel free to take Jared Lorenzen out of your fantasy lineup. [The Fifth Down]

Deltha O'Neal may want to invest in leashes. [With Leather]

That's about all for the week. Next week will be live and in color for the whole span. Oh...and for you gamblers out there... Chargers +3.5 seems too good to be true. Not that I condone it, I'm just saying.

Until Monday...

Sexy Rexy, Mental Midget?

Get ready for a little person rally on the streets of San Diego.

With the Chicago Bears taking a beating from the San Diego Chargers this past weekend, the insults are continuing to bubble up. This time, the Chicago Tribune reports that linebacker Matt Wilhelm quoted coach Ron Rivera in calling Bears quarterback Rex Grossman a "mental midget."

The puffy-chested Chargers postgame remarks simply warned the Bears that future opponents will want to get inside their heads because, word around the league is, there's plenty of room.

This all coming down the pike after the Bears were upset regarding their defense being displayed as the weaker half against LaDanian Tomlinson in a Nike commercial. While failing to prove the media wrong on said advertisement, their offense took a beating as well with linebacker Shaun Phillips delivering a sack that Grossman deemed the "hardest hit he's ever taken."

But did anyone hit Matt Wilhelm in the head?

Thinking here is that Wilhelm is in fact the "mental midget." Who takes something the coach tells the team in private to the media - ESPECIALLY when it refers to how dumb an opposing player may possibly be - and think that it is perfecty acceptable? Has anyone even cared about what Matt Wilhelm has had to say since Ohio State? Even then he probably wasn't providing in-depth thoughts.

For the record, Rivera considered Wilhelm's revelation regrettable and said in a phone interview that he addressed the matter with the linebacker.

No kidding. You mean that Rivera doesn't like being in that light? The San Diego coaching staff may want to hire some PR staff to follow their players around when confronted with media opportunities. We all know that Grossman isn't exactly thought of as the Albert Einstein of football, but Wilhelm definitely blew by him on the Low-IQ freeway.

Midget Remark... [Chicago Tribune]

Picture courtesy of KSK

Ten Inches of Forecasting

As everyone an their step-brother are making predictions for this season, I figured that there's enough room for one more blogger to jump on board.

I had something a bit more colorful planned, but due to a lack of time - all you're getting is content today.

AFC North: Baltimore Ravens
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC West: San Diego Chargers

AFC Wildcards: Denver Broncos, Cincinnati Bengals

NFC North: Chicago Bears
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers

NFC Wildcards: Seattle Seahawks, Dallas Cowboys

AFC Champ: New England Patriots
NFC Champ: New Orleans Saints

Super Bowl Champ: New England Patriots

And yes, this pick is made strictly based on my ability to curse a team by selecting them. I'm actually going to be pulling for the Saints to win the whole she-bang this season...with the Chargers close behind.

The AFC North is going to be a three-horse race, and I could easily see the Steelers getting that wild card bid over the defenseless Bengals. The Rams may surprise a few people, as well as the Cards - but I'm sticking with my Seahawk-Niners combo. And don't underestimate the Broncos this season...They could easily go 13-3.

But that's why they play the season... Go Browns.

NFL Players Hate Commercials

Memo to athletes. Any time a commercial depicts an athletic event, there's typically someone that wins as well as someone that loses. Do these always directly represent perception? Of course not. If you're going to display competition, someone has to lose...it's the way it is.

Where am I going with this? Remember the LaDanian Tomlinson commerical in my last post? Well, apparently the Chicago Bears are upset that it depicts them looking like swiss cheese as Tomlinson tears them apart one by one. When asked of reaction, Tomlinson replied with the following:

"In fact I read something somebody sent me that Urlacher said to ask me how many yards I had the last time I played them four years ago. There you go. That tells me how they feel about it."

NFL.com reports that Tomlinson was "held" to 61 yards and a touchdown on 16 carries in 2003. While nearing four yards a carry isn't exactly what the video shows, its still not bad.

This all goes back to Dallas Clark crying about his Madden character getting nearly beheaded in a commercial. Apparently, EA Sports should be more careful with who they select to get lit up in an advertisement. Of course, when the Colts played the Eagles, Clark did go down with an injury, so maybe the Bears are just looking out for theirs.

Nike will now have to create commercials of all athletes having fun, but not at the expense of anyone else. We wouldn't want anyone's feelings being hurt in the meantime.

Bears and Chargers Subplot [NFL.com]
Dallas Clark Is Not Happy With You, John Madden [Mr. Irrelevant]
School Says Game Of Tag Is Out [Fox News]

Late To The Party

Attempting to get back into the swing of things this week, there's plenty of stuff to report.

MDS over at the NFL FanHouse is reporting that several outlets claim Jeremiah Trotter has signed with the Bucs. Odd that Tampa Bay wanted to sign Trotter given his age and their defensive scheme. Barrett Ruud can't be thrilled, but the veteran leadership is always a plus. Right? Right.

Tiki Barber's still running his mouth. While Eli Manning isn't the current target, the former running back just can't let go of his past. Apparently, in his new book titled Tiki: My Life in the Game and Beyond, Barber goes on to lash current Giant's coach Tom Coughlin saying that said coach "robbed" him of his joy of the game. Heaven forbid that the Giants have tough training camps and practices. (Thanks to Dan Benton for the tip)

I, for one, am about sick of Barber. He retired from the game, and while his current job allows him to speak his mind, I've yet to hear him say something about a team other than the Giants. I always liked his brother better anyways.

Dunta Robinson, of Houston Texans fame, was reportedly robbed at gunpoint. In a scary line of incidents like this against athletes, it's good news that Robinson is alright.

And finally, this pretty sweet commercial for LaDanian Tomlinson. Enjoy.