John Carroll University: Oops. Our Bad!

Yes, I know this is a football blog. But as it is just that, a blog, I'm taking my ownership and bending the rules a bit as this is entirely too much to pass up.

There is a Division III school in Northeastern Ohio called John Carroll University. A good school, especially considering the options in NE Ohio. In fact, when I was in college, our club basketball team got absolutely pissed on by their JV squad. It wasn't even worth the van ride up there. But anyways...

It has been brought to my attention that the University is hosting a Winter Formal for 2007. Not a huge deal right? Yes, the whole "Formal" thing gets played out a bit once you get in to college as there are more important things to do with your weekend once you hit college. But this one isn't just your average formal. It's themed!

The theme, you ask? What better than to play off of a favorite holiday tune then to use Bing Crosby's "White Christmas?"

Apparently, "Dreaming of a White Cleveland" has not gone over too well as the Student Union has had to issue an email to the entire University.

On behalf on the Student Union Programming Board and the Office of Student Activities, we would like to clarify any misunderstandings due to the theme of this year’s Winter Formal. “I’m Dreaming of a White Cleveland” was thought up by this year’s committee to go along with Bing Crosby’s widely known Christmas song, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas,” while excluding “Christmas” and going along with Cleveland’s typical snowy winters. There was never any intention for this theme to mean anything more. SUBP and the Office of Student Activities apologize to anyone who took offense to this title and hopes that those individuals can understand that nothing was meant by the theme except for a well known snowy winter here in Cleveland, the home of John Carroll University.

Thank you for your time and understanding,

Student Union Programming Board & The Office of Student Activities

I would love to know who exactly thought this was a good idea. Is Daniel Carver the Faculty Rep for the SU? I know that in today's society, we're attempting to look past all of these innuendos and all, as "recognizing" them is considered more racist (ahem, Jason Whitlock) than the actual statements. Regardless, the "theme" has now been changed to "Winter Formal 2007." And the logo that was used in the email? Looks like an attempt at disaster recovery to me...

Ed Must Protect This House

Tom Sifferman: Hey Ed, what's with the sleeves?
Ed Hochuli: Do these tri's look like they need Under Armor to you?

I must admit out front that I'm not a big reader of the USA Today. To me, they're known more for their color-coded sections and shitty layout than anything else. However, their recent "Behind the Scenes" deserves at least a little bit of love - if only for one reason: Ed Hochuli.

It comes as no surprise that Hochuli and his arms are in charge of a nine-man officiating crew. What does come as a surprise is the fact that the #85 and his white hat is a big fan of handing out rubber animals and plungers to his team. It's also shocking that the big guys is actually an attorney as well, but let's not get too serious here.

At each session reviewing the previous game, Hochuli, 56, awards the rubber ducks to those in the group who had the easiest calls to make (former ref Jerry Seeman calls such penalties "duck soup"). Saturday, Hochuli tosses one to [Scott] Helverson, who had thrown a penalty flag for an obvious pass-interference infraction in the Green Bay-Minnesota game.

The luckiest crew members get rubber bears handed there way. Why? Well, because "sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you." Duh.

While I attempt to figure out what the hell that actually means, we'll just go on to the plunger. The rubber plunger gets handed to the guy that made the worst call of the game. In basketball, this would likely go to Steve Javie, but since this is the NFL - it gets dealt to the member of Hoch's crew who makes the biggest bonehead move of the game. And that guy best take that plunger unless he want's Big Ed to really give it to him.*

The head official disusses his four-times-a-week workout (surprisingly focusing on the "upper body") as well as the rituals that also take place pre-game, including plenty of video-watching and interofficial banter. But it is the 3 hours of game time that actually gets Ed going. Hochuli himself went on record to say that his game days are like "having a mainline of adrenaline running through my veins for three hours. Right, Ed. Adrenaline.



*This possibly doesn't happen. Maybe.

(photogs courtesy of USAToday)

Prepare For Pittman's Pythons

Despite pulling out a win, Sunday was a rough day for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who lost running back Carnell "Cadillac" Williams and tackle Luke Petitgout for the season due to knee injuries.

In response to the injuries, Head Coach Jon Gruden said:

"That's a big blow...We have some people who need to step up."

Well, the Bucs are in luck as I know three guys who are a perfect fit to take on the job: Michael Pittman and his gigantic arms. His knees may not be in any better condition than the rest of the healthy options, but his biceps are likely twice the size of anyone eligible to wear a jersey with numbers ranging from 20-49.



On his arm, the veteran back has a tattoo that reads "The Real Black Superman." While I'm not going to be the one to despute the fact, an interview in 2002 explains some of the details involved in the ink.

Roger Mills: On your right arm, you have "The Real Black Superman"?

Pittman: That was my first tattoo. It's about putting my mind to something and accomplishing what I want to accomplish. If I put my mind to it, maybe I can fly. Maybe I can do the things that Superman can do.

* * *

RM: So who is a fake black superman?

MP: You see a lot of guys with Superman tattoos, like Shaq. Well, he's just Superman. I'm the Real Black Superman.

Pittman's obviously proud of his cannons, as he's no stranger to doing the sleeve-roll-up at practice. While this is typically done by females on the beach or guys working on a car in the front yard, Pittman is definitely not self concious when it comes to the "tuck."



Of course, Pittman posesses strong pass-catching skills that will likely be utilized by quarterback Jeff Garcia. Some may say that Garcia will look to form a bond with the running back, and I'm sure that the 20" arms of his counterpart will help meld things quickly.

The Bucs will need to roll on without their Cadillac, and the loss of an offensive lineman will not help matters with the running game. But thankfully, they have "The Real Black Superman" and his two friends.


Knee Injury Ends Season Of Bucs' Williams [San Jose Mercury News]
It's Not All About Biceps [St. Petersburg Times]